Keeper of Your Children's Dreams: Celebrating Literacy is A Key

SWEET REFLECTIONS

Today's blog is a time for reflection - take a deep breath, listen carefully and you can feel that same emotion, that same pride you first felt on that first day you met your new little one. Whether you are a parent (or a grandparent or other relative), I believe every one present at the first moments of life has this great rush of dreams and love for that baby.  The start of a new life is inspiring to us all.  But sometimes the whirlwind of life, the pressures and worries, can drive that feeling away or at least bury it a bit. 

SNUGGLE AND CUDDLE TIME

Reading with your child can help you recapture that understanding that every possibility is open; every life a new chance for the world to be a better place.  I love the words from Nancy Tillman's On The Night You Were Born, "So whenever you doubt just how special you are and you wonder who loves you, how much and how far, listen for geese honking high in the sky (they're singing a song to remember you by): . . .   They take us back to those singular, life-affirming moments that are the core of our relationship with our child.

Whether you have a newborn, a toddler or a preschool child, think back to that time and those feelings and use them as motivational fuel.  One of the truest, most satisfying ways we as parents (grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, etc.) can keep those dreams alive is by creating a rich literacy environment for that young child.

IT'S SIMPLE AND EFFECTIVE AND PAVES THE PATH TO READING

Have that feeling close to your heart?  Here's the next step (no academic hothouse).   Learning how our language works can be a natural, relationship-enriching experience for both child and family.  Sitting down for just two or three minutes can rekindle that connection we had from the very beginning and remind us of what is most important in life. Look at the outside of a book together.  See if you can guess together what it might be about.  It's that simple to begin.

A CHAT WITH TUMBLON'S GRAHAM SCHARF

I was personally reminded of just those connections when I spoke last week with Graham Scharf, father, educator, entrepenuer and co-founder of Tumblon.com, a great place for parents to find resources for understanding and nurturing their child's growth, an inspirational place to connect with the joys of parenting.

Graham and I were talking about how easy and rewarding it is to create a literacy-rich home environment for your child.  To the left you'll see he and his lovely wife with their two little "readers".  We talked about finding the most delicious books for sharing like Mem Fox's Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes and The Little Red Caboose, books with my three R's of books for young children

Rhythm, 
Rhyme and
Repetition.

These kinds of books are easy to find in your local library or at the bookstore down the street or at the mall.

We also talked about how important it is for children to hear lots of conversations (not only for their language development but also for their emotional and social development).  It is so empowering to a child when they know they are loved and when several someones in their life often say that to them and show them their care with a listening ear.  My mom loved to talk with our son when he was small (here's one of my favorite pictures of them talking about a single thing, a toy squirrel)

CONSISTENCY

One of the last highlights of the conversation with Graham last week was the idea of consistency.  I don't want any parent to think that you have to be the Martha Stewart of mothers or the Mr. Rogers of dads.  I do want you to know that you are the single most important influence in your child's life and that you are the most powerful, natural teacher you child will ever have. Learning doesn't just happen at school.  Think about what you have already taught your child to do (sit up, make raspberries with their lips, walk, talk, hug, empathize).

If you don't read with your children now, just try doing it once a week to begin with.  Set aside a few minutes before you tuck your child in for a quick read.  Remember, at this age, it doesn't have to be more than 2-3 minutes long.  You have time for that; it's less than a coffeebreak and you know (when you think back to those early emotions) that your child is worth the effort to give that little bit of time wholeheartedly to him.

Once you begin to enjoy the story with your child (no correcting and directing), you'll want to add more reading times and you'll be motivated to carve out those times because you see how much it means to your child and to you.  Reading aloud with your child is also a "destressor " for you both when you simply enjoy it together rather than making it an academic exercise.

BUILD ON POSITIVE EXPERIENCES AND GROW THE HABIT

Once you've broken the ice with the routine, try adding just one more night - go for a few weeks at that level and don't beat yourself up if you miss one as you are setting the new habit.  Stay on target and try again.   If you read twice a week, aim for three times (researchers tell us that at least three times a week is the minimum we eventually need to make a consistent impact). 

READY FOR MORE?

Listen to more tips and ideas from the conversation between Graham and me at his podcast of the event on Tumblon.com.  You can also learn more about the power of conversation, reading with your child and playing with the language through my new book, Anytime Reading Readiness, available now through Maupin House Publishing.

How Do I Find The Time To Read With My Young Child?

Are you frustrated because you have great intentions but just can't seem to find time to read regularly with your child? You know it is important but it just seems to get squeezed out. You aren't alone.

Here are a few secrets to finding that time and making it rewarding for both you and your child:

1) think about the importance of reading with your children. It is when we reflect on where our time is going that we as adults most often get our priorities back on track. Reading aloud with children is the "single most important activity" to eventually build the skills necessary to be a good reader. It isn't worksheets; it isn't flashcards (who remembers favorites of those - do you?).

2) carve out time in 10-20 minute increments. Your schedule may not allow more or your child may need small doses so that he leaves with a pleasant taste in his mouth about the experience instead of a negative one because he was asked to sit still for too long.

If you don't read regularly with your child now, don't try to make it a daily thing right away. It's kind of like eating a healthier diet. Very few of us will completely change what we eat at one time. We work on it gradually, with goals, and slowly we change. That kind of change is more likely to become habit. Parents are the best ones to set this example, according to Johnny Appleseed.

If you read with your child, once or twice a week, add one day. Wherever you are, if you aren't reading every day with your children, bump it up a day.

3) recognize the reality that, with your schedule, you may not be able to have a story-time or reading time together every single night, especially during the weekedays with homework, extra activities, baths, dinner, etc. I'll share a secret with you. Research seems to indicate that families who read at least three times a week MINIMUM with their children have a greater impact than those that read less frequently. Am I telling you that so you will not try to read with them every day? No. But I am saying use that framework as a minimum goal. Look at #4 to see what to do on the days you legitimately can't find time.

4) When you cannot read with your child, read the world. While running errands in the car, there is always an opportunity to read. Our world is full of text - signs, billboards, maps, restaurant take-out menus, business banners or signs. At home there is junk mail, laundry labels on clothing, soccer schedules, notes and reminders on the refrigerator or calendar. Think about the grocery store and how much there is to read there (your list, labels and nutritional information, advertisements, etc.) Reading is Fundamental shares more ideas in their summer article but you can use these tips anytime to remind you . Show your child that reading is truly a tool for life.

These ideas ensure your child gets a daily dose of practice with reading but it fits into today's family schedules. The key is consistency.

5) Last, but not least: If your child is a beginning reader, that doesn't mean that your time together should always be your child practicing reading to you. There are two reasons to flip it around and read to him or her sometimes:

first, the books your child can read on his own with little or no help from you often contain "controlled vocabulary". That simply means that these books have been specifically written so that your child will mainly see words that she already knows. That's important for her practice so she becomes fluent (starts to put words into phrases and sentences rather than reading one word at a time). However, if you limit your child's reading to these controlled vocabulary (or leveled) books, you also limit his exposure to new vocabulary, which if that is all the diet of reading he has, can stunt his reading growth. Some of my favorite books about words (that will help you introduce your children to new words in a fun way are Maisey's Amazing Big Book of Words, Big, Bigger, Biggest, and any of Karma Wilson's picture books.

Secondly, if you are the one doing the reading, you can read books with higher levels of vocabulary (which will grow your child's listening vocabulary - the words she knows and understands when she hears them). That will connect later to his reading vocabulary (he'll recognize words more easily when he has them in his listening vocabulary already). Try sharing the chapter book, Charlotte's Web, a chapter or a partial chapter at a time. Give your child a crayon or pencil and a piece of paper and suggest that he draw a picture about the story since there are few pictures in this book.

You can also share books with more complex ideas and have great discussions over what is happening (or will happen) in the book. Even among picture books, there are many that are written beyond a beginning reading level such as Fancy Nancy's Favorite Fancy Words, The New Way Things Work, or The Librarian Who Measured the Earth. Reading these types of books with your child helps him/her with his understanding (comprehension). That can happen even before the child is a reader in the conventional sense. Don't fall into the trap of limiting what your child is exposed to or what you choose to read together. Let your child's interest be your guide.

Talk with your spouse, your best friend, your mom or dad about how you can find time in your busy day for reading with your child. Even a fellow co-worker may be struggling with the same challenges in this area as you. Reading together, sharing a book, can even be a stress-reliever for you and your child.

Please take a few minutes to share. Send a link to this blog along to a friend. Share with us in a comment how you make time for reading in your busy schedule in a comment on this blog. I'm sure others would benefit greatly from your additions to this post ( and I know I would love to hear from you!)

Literary versus Literacy

Whether you have children in middle or high school, you know there is a lot of reading they have to do to be successful in school. Some of it can be complex and "high brow" literature, introductions to the literary world. Although that certainly has value, many kids today have trouble relating to that sort of reading and it may turn them away from the reading that will help them be successful, happy and productive in our world. I can't tell you how many parents have said to me: "My child loved to read as a small child but now he hates it. What happened?"

It could be that your child has lost an important support system when he moved from the "snuggle and cuddle" stage to being mostly an independent reader. He may have begun to think about reading as "all that school required reading" instead of as a tool for life.

Certainly you can't expect that 13 or 15 year old to want to sit with you and read like they did when they were small. But you can keep whetting his/her appetite for reading by exposing your young person to reading materials (books, magazines, Internet sites, how-to manuals, vacation brochures, etc.) that connect to his interests. Here are five tips on transitioning into supporting your teen's reading habits.

1) Make sure you have plenty of reading materials (from a variety of sources) in your home. You don't have to spend a lot of money. If you have Internet access, and a nearby library, much of your reading materials can come from those sources. Teen Ink is an Internet site where real kids are posting their own writing. It just might be the hook your child needs.

Share what you are reading with your young person and talk a little about what you are getting out of it. If you aren't reading something (it doesn't have to be a 300 page novel) and sharing your responses to that reading, you are missing a great chance to send the message "reading is important". Think back to all the things you've had to read today - here's my list from just this morning: emails, grocery ads, phone book, online ads for alternatives to our current telephone service, directions on weed killer, my favorite blogs, the local newspaper (and it's only 9:30AM). I just finished reading a fascinating novel (historical fiction) about the mother of Leonardo de Vinci entitled Senora da Vinci.

2) Respect your child and listen to his ideas. Those are the tips which tell you exactly what your child might be interested in reading about, on his own, away from school "stuff". They need an escape, an outlet just as we do. And books and reading can be a healthy option. For some teens, that is reading about kids their age in social situations, struggling with some of the same things they are; for others, the topic might be another part of the world or another time, space exploration, animals, or cooking. There are books about popular guys and girls, about kids struggling with divorce in their families, ADHD, making smart choices. Chris Crutcher's Anger Management and Laurie Halls Anderson's Fever 1793 are great examples. Magazine subscriptions that relate to his/her interests are also a great way to keep that fuel coming. Visit World Newspapers.com for a wide list to choose from.

3) Continue to give your teen books during the holidays and birthdays you celebrate. Don't choose the boxed set of classics (unless your child has voiced an interest in those). Think about a novel their favorite movie is based upon. What about a hiking manual for your area f that is an interest for your son or daughter? A book on young self-made business people (Conversations with Teen Entrepreneurs). Don't select the book you think they "should" read; pick one they will want to. It doesn't have to be the only gift, but make sure you include one.

4) Don't stress if sometimes your teen has so much reading to do for school that he/she doesn't seem to have as much time for "outside school" reading. There will be times when that takes priority. But know that, if you are protecting and encouraging your young person's love of learning, he or she will want to read(on a subject of their choice) or read more deeply on a subject just touched upon in a class.

5) Last but not least, help your teen see that reading is a tool for life. Everyday we use reading of some sort (even text messages or Facebook profiles) to connect with our world. Acknowledge those activities we don't usually think of as reading, talk about what you (or they) are taking away from those experiences with text and explicitly relate that sort of reading as an application of what they are studying in school.

Follow this blog and share it with families who have children first breath to twelfth-grade. We'll continue to alternate the postings between parents of young children and those who are parenting independent readers. They both need lots of support!

Visit Reading is for Everyone for even more resources for parents of all ages!